The word "grandparents" conjures up a unique world where the dual role of
parenting is manifest. Grandparents act as shock absorbers, which cushion
the aftershocks and they also act as bouncing boards, which help to ricochet
a range of emotions. The different roles they play only serve to emphasize
their vital link in the family. With a wealth of old world experience behind
them, and having the unique ability of being able to metamorphose from
advisers and listeners to mediators and friends, they can offer support and
stability.
The underlying sense of responsibility that goes with this is tremendous.
The role of grandparents in children's lives is varied. It is imperial at
times, muted at others and goes underground whenever required but all the
time solid and absolutely dependable. They are constantly performing
artistes who do the balancing act all the time between their adult children
and their grandchildren.
Grandparents often bridge the gap between parents and their children.
Rebellious independent children who are trying to find their feet are almost
always at loggerheads with their parents. The role of the grandparents can
be very important provided they act as impartial judges and are able to
convey this feeling to both parties. Grandchildren prefer to listen to the
grandparents rather than the parents with whom they are unfortunately
involved in everyday tussles. The sense of objectivity and the absence of
bias lend a sense of credibility to their roles as mediators. Honestly done,
this goes a long way in lulling both the parties into a sense of
arbitration. Gulfs widen, but at the same time bridges are also built.
One important thing, which seems to be missing in the lives of children
today, is the sense of family, values, religious beliefs and principles.
This is where the grandparents step in. Inculcating beliefs and values is
not as easy as it was 50-60 years ago. No questions were asked and there was
an implicit sense of belief. With changing times and changing outlooks,
children have started to question the authenticity of everything. They do
not believe until they are convinced,. Globalization has eroded the sense of
belonging and identity with their roots, and science and technology has them
questioning everything.
The parents who are already fighting constantly with time are perhaps not in
a position to inculcate these values. Children are very demanding, and
grandparents without appearing to be pushy have all the time and experience
to deal with tantrums.
They appease, soothe, and impart values with tremendous ease.
Our Indian culture is rich and varied, but how many children realize its
value? Grandparents can make them appreciate the values of tradition and
provide a platform for moral and religious values. Of course, some of the
Indian customs may seem redundant today, but there are some things that have
eternal value.
Respect for parents, and the sense of loyalty towards them is something that
is so unique in Indian heritage. This can be handed down at least in some
measure to the children.
The grandparents being on the periphery and still being central can perform
this role to perfection. The ability to Love, shower affection, and
willingness to help and comfort their grand children has made grandparents
indispensable. There can be no gainsaying the fact that their role is as
important as the role of parents. Their timeless experience, their patience
and their ability to create a non-compulsive learning environment is
something that even parents have learnt to rely on.
This means that the role of grandparents in children upbringing can never
really be relegated to the background.
OLD IS GOLD
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