> While we all love our kids, in this day and age of two working parents and
> insane schedules, we tend to cut corners and neglect important things.
> That being said, here are 10 big mistakes parents make.
>
> 1) Spoiling kids
> There is no doubt that parents love their kids and want them to have all
> the things they didn't. However, this comes at a price. A ton of
> well-intentioned parents have ended up spoiling their kids to such a
> degree that the kids aren't even happy with all the stuff they have. This
> causes them to never be satisfied and always want more. Junior doesn't
> need one more piece of crap, what he needs is some special time with his
> parents. Think of it this way: How will they ever be prepared for
> disappointment throughout their life—or learn to be thankful for anything?
>
> 2) Inadequate discipline
> When you're too lazy to adequately discipline your kids, you pass the
> little devil you've created on to your relatives, coaches, teachers, and
> his friends' parents. It's not OK to let your kids treat your house like
> it was a Jump Planet because that's exactly how they'll treat other
> people's homes. They should also be much better behaved when they leave
> the house and visit elsewhere. I've lived through this nightmare
> first-hand, with the same kid at my house treating my $1,500 couch like a
> trampoline, and then calling my daughter "ugly" while the kids were eating
> dinner. All within a 15-minute span. If you don't discipline your kid,
> someone else will—and you won't like it.
>
> 3) Failing to get involved at school
> School is where your kids will spend more time than any place besides your
> home. It's also the place that will have the most responsibility for
> shaping their life—from teachers and their peers. That being said, how can
> you not want to be involved in what's going on there? It doesn't matter if
> it's you or your spouse: Your family needs to have a presence at that
> school. And don't use work as an excuse—take a vacation day if you need
> to. You'll see immediately that it's time well spent. You should also have
> at least an e-mail relationship with their teacher. It's a great way for
> that teacher to see that you're interested in your child's development,
> and the teacher can alert you to anything concerning that may be going on
> with your son or daughter. Your kid's teacher may take a much more active
> role with your child if they know you're keeping close tabs.
>
> 4) Praising mediocrity
> While we all want to encourage our kids to do well and build their
> self-esteem, there is a point of going too far. Building a child's
> self-esteem is great, but having a big party for a mediocre accomplishment
> skews what they view as a real achievement. One big place I see this is in
> sports. A participation trophy for anyone over the age of 6 just ends up
> devaluing the meaning of a real trophy. It's happening in my own
> household. While I was against trophies for my 7-year-old son's basketball
> team, a few moms overruled. My son has played exactly four seasons of
> sports and has earned more trophies than I did in my 40 seasons growing
> up. Something is out of whack.
>
> 5) Not giving kids enough responsibility
> Your kids shouldn't be expecting any payment for doing chores around the
> house. It's a home, not a hotel. That being said, an allowance is a great
> idea … for extra work. They should be pulling their weight as part of the
> family. If they grow up without enough responsibility, how in the world do
> you expect them to hold down a job, or get through college? When they get
> "of age," make sure they're taking some of the burden off you around the
> house—from unloading the dishwasher to picking up dog poop in the
> backyard. While they're not your slaves, they sure aren't on vacation,
> either.
> 6) Not being a good spouse
> How you treat your husband or wife is very important to the way your kids
> will develop relationships, especially as adults. If you treat your spouse
> poorly, or if your only way to settle any kind of dispute is to yell and
> scream at each other, you're teaching your kids to handle themselves the
> same way. Kids learn from watching you much more than they learn from
> listening to you. If you treat your spouse with love and respect, it will
> also show your kids the value of their family. It will also make them feel
> their family is a safe haven in what can be a dark, scary world.
>
> 7) Setting unreal expectations
> When dealing with kids, you need to set reasonable expectations for
> them—especially the little ones. If you want to go out to a nice dinner
> and expect your 2-year-old to sit there like a little prince, you are
> setting yourself up for major disappointment. Also, if you have visions of
> a football star and your son weighs 80 pounds and likes to play the
> clarinet, you need to reset those expectations. Don't have unreal
> expectations for your kids: The expectation you should have is for them to
> be happy.
> 8) Not teaching kids to fend for themselves
> Many parents tend to baby kids these days and cater to their every need,
> and that eliminates the value of hard work and becoming independent as
> they grow into adults. I fear that we're raising a generations of wimps.
> Kids nowadays expect everything to be done for them, from cleaning their
> room to band-aids for hurt feelings. Teaching them to toughen up and do
> things on their own doesn't mean that you love them less; it means you
> love them more.
>
> 9) Pushing trends on kids
> Let kids be kids. Parents shouldn't push their trends or adult outlook on
> life on their kids. Just because it was your life's dream to marry a rich
> guy doesn't mean we need to see your 4-year-old daughter in a "Future
> Trophy Wife" t-shirt. The same goes for the double ear piercing—that's
> what you want, not them. Teaching kids about your passions is great, but
> let them grow up to be who they are. And yes, this goes for you pathetic
> stage parents as well. It's hard enough for kids to figure out who they
> are in the world without you trying to turn them into what you couldn't
> be.
>
> 10) Not following through
> I have trouble with this one sometimes. If you're telling your kids that
> they'll be grounded if they paint the neighbor's dog one more time, you'd
> better follow through. Unfortunately, following though on punishments or
> promises makes your life a little more difficult, but building trust is
> what's most important. If you're not true to your word, your kids will
> assume anything you say is just talk. Then you have a real problem on your
> hands. You'll also end up with kids who don't trust their parents.
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